I'm 19 and I just wrote this poem, tell me what you think? Please be honest!?

  • "Break-up of the Heart"

    "I thought that I had everything
    The day that I met you.
    I gave you every piece of me,
    Now I don't know what to do.
    I'm sitting here,
    Just holding my phone;
    We ended "us",
    Now I'm all alone.
    I told you to stop calling,
    That I needed space to see
    What we were becoming,
    And what we're meant to be.
    My phone is blinking
    "One missed call",
    I know that it's from you.
    But I still can't bear to hear your voice
    Telling me "we're through".
    I thought that I'd be happy,
    I thought it's what I wanted.
    But through the silence, and the tears
    All I feel is haunted.
    I hear your voice surrounding me
    It's burning through my ears;
    I see your face in everything
    But it blurs through the tears.
    I thought you were my everything,
    But now that we're apart,
    You've left me here with nothing
    But my battered, broken heart...."


  • fantastic!


  • hi I think it's a great poem thanks


  • ok


  • its really long


  • I think we have all been there and lived through that, you related it into words very well. I wrote my first poem when l was 13. l let it be read here on yahoo, you can check it out on my history of questions asked, or feel free to check out my 360 blog, l would love to have you visit and hopefully it will encourage you to keep writting.







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    Posted on January 8th 2009 in bomisasia.com edit